Recently, there have been a number of accounts all over X proclaiming their excellence at fantasy football in 2023. And, if we’re being honest, everyone is full of sheep.
After all, how can so many less-than-the-most-popular analysts be so good at fantasy? It’s almost as if follower count rises as playoff berths fall. Hogwash. Certainly, there are many certainties to consider when considering records and certain other considerations. Like, for example, seeing who recommended drafting Patrick Mahomes this season. Amateurs…
For one, we must account for the level of competition. Home leagues are quite obviously filled with inexperienced, wet-behind-the-ears novices who couldn’t find a fantasy football in a patch of… in a field where… in a place that grows fantasy footballs.
And as for industry expert leagues: the competition is ferociously fierce. I mean, why else would so many industry titans decide to tanne-hide their results from the rest of us as they shepherd their devotees all season long?
There’s only one reason that comes to mind…
Extreme and unflinching modesty.
A number of the benevolent kings of industry have opted out of the right to be criticized by FantasyFanatic8675309 for their less-than-stellar records, while simultaneously criticizing those who share. If you thought Travis and Tay Tay were taking over too much of your timelines, then this turn of tweets was truly teeming with tumescence.
But are the big boys of fantasy afraid to share their results at the risk of looking too cocky? Could they overcome a poor season without losing their dedicated flock? Would they dare write a sentence like the one at the end of the last paragraph?
There are so many questions that remain after a wild week of social media tomfoolery. We may never know the answers to them all.
Thankfully, fantasy football is fantasy. We know that unsanctioned gambling is largely illegal, so it’s reassuring to know that no one out there is getting fleeced off of the advice of the experts and their veiled expertise.
And, should anyone lose real money through the appropriate gambling authorities on the internet – you know, the ones that require you to report your winnings, no matter how small, to the IRS – at least we can assume the money we pay in subscription fees is going to the right place.
Look, I’m not one to brag, but I’ve also made the playoffs in 137% of my leagues this season. Fantasy football is pure luck after all, but at least fortune favors the fortunate. Am I right?
So in an industry where results matter, and especially given the time of year, let’s all make sure to get into the holiday spirit and be as standoffish, defensive, and passive-aggressive as possible when others share their successes.
And when some don’t… well, who’s to say how successful their success has been this season? It’s better not to question the authorities too much anyway.
Baaaaaa…
Jeremy Shulman
Jeremy is an avid football fan from New York who lives in Amsterdam and roots for the Patriots. This walking contradiction has played fantasy football for over than 20 years. He is now a Senior Dynasty Writer at The League Winners. In his spare time, he writes and edits professionally.